my brain itches; why am I floating? (2021)
c. 8 minutes
for Teagan Faran at the 1:2:1 Festival (August 2021 session)
Not long ago, the book “Ugly Feelings” by Sianne Ngai was recommended to me by a friend. In it, she talks about complex and unusual emotional states such as anxiety, irritation, confidence, cuteness, euphoria – emotional states we often have trouble describing and putting into words. This got me thinking about my own experiences with social anxiety growing up with a speech impediment whilst also coming to terms with my sexuality as a gay man. Heavily influenced by my experiences of social anxiety and repression, this piece is highly emotionally unstable in nature, chaotically moving from one emotional state to another, slowly running out of energy and reaching a peaceful zone of repose and tranquility. As we are still slowly emerging from a highly uncertain two-year period, I’m sure that this is an emotional arc we can all relate to in some shape or form.
Video performance by Teagan Faran streamed as part of the 1:2:1 Festival (08/22/2021).